Al’s Ice Sculpture Challenge

That’s right! It’s the viral sensation that is sweeping the nation:


In response to the popular ice bucket challenge for ALS, local resident Albert Kent has devised a new trend! “It all started when I realize that my name, Al, had some of the same letters as ALS. My wife says I’m being insensitive, but what could be insensitive about making a little money at the expense of some people in need? It’s fun.”

AL’S PLAN: “So basically, you take a cell phone video of you making an ice sculpture. It can be something huge, or just a little ice cube shaved into a tiny horse or something. I don’t care. Then you challenge your friends to do the same, or they have to mail me 20 bucks.”

Al, a Pittsburgh native of 51, believes to be rich by the end of the year. “The best part about this plan, is that people are the stars of their own videos. It would be different if I was just like ‘Hey! Mail me $20 bucks for no reason!’, you know? I doubt anyone would do it.”

Contrary to popular belief, Al himself has actually never made an ice sculpture. He notes, “I have never liked them really.”


HOUSEFILLER! The Home-sharing App

Don’t you hate it when you come home from vacation, and your stagnant and unexciting home is exactly the way you left it?!

Try HOUSEFILLER!, the home-sharing smartphone application!

Using the popular carpool sharing app model on your cellular device, HOUSEFILLER! automatically locates the closest homeless person to your location, pings them on their smartphone, and invites them to your home to occupy it while you are away. By sharing your house, you will benefit in the following ways:

1. Your plants will get watered.

2. Your pets will be fed.

3. Your food and drink will be consumed.

4. Your television will get watched, lowering the average cost per minute of your cable bill.

5. Your bed will be slept in.

6. Your living spaces will be available for social gatherings.

7. Your carpets will need to be cleaned upon your return.

8. Assistance from law enforcement might be necessary to remove all inhabitants.

9. Your home may suffer irreparable fire damage.

10. Some or all of your belongings may be missing.

This is just a partial list of all the benefits of subscribing to HOUSEFILLER! Happy customers include Jenny M., of Fortville, IN: “I used HOUSEFILLER while I went to Key West with my cousin.”

Thanks Jenny! Spread the good word!

Like we always say at HOUSEFILLER!, “An empty house is just lumber. NO ONE LIKES LUMBER!”