Diesel Blanket 3000

As temperatures slowly drop this fall, do you wish you had an electric blanket to warm your bed?

Well forget that! A new, more powerful technology is available! It’s the GASOLINE-POWERED, HEATED “DIESEL BLANKET 3000!”

That’s right. Dream your nights away beneath the blanket that the Fireman’s Association of the Pacific Northwest ironically called “a total nightmare.” Gently fall asleep to the odiferous exhaust fumes and subtle 91-decibel purr of this gas-powered generator.

According to Sharon, of Lake Winnepacky, MN, “I sweated so much, I can drink a whole bottle of vodka and almost not feel it!”

And James from West Grizzly Pass, Alberta says, “If I had known about this blanket when I was still married, my ex-wife and I wouldn’t have had to burn down our own house on purpose just to hide the money laundering pyramid scheme I was running out of the basement! The house might have just burned down on it’s own and I wouldn’t have gone to jail. Hell, I probably could have sued the company¬†and claimed the insurance money… Not owning this blanket is basically my biggest regret in life!”

You’ll never need to wear a full sweatsuit to bed again! This blanket is perfect as:

  1. A gift!
  2. To keep!

CALL NOW and receive a free Lyft ride to the gas station for your first tank of gasoline!

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