Pete’s Nacho Barn

Eating Nachos? Good idea.
Hanging out in a barn? Good idea.
Eating Nachos and hanging out in a barn? GREAT IDEA

At least that’s Pete Flores’ philosophy! At Pete’s Nacho Barn, the genius is in the simplicity. You won’t have to worry about making a time consuming and sometimes emotionally complicated choice of nacho toppings in a traditional mexican food restaurant. Pete’s serves them up one way, and one way only: a synthetic blend of cheese substitutes that look like melted plastic poured over a grocery-grade bag of tortilla chips. In a barn.

SOME HISTORY: In 1937, the Flores family began farming in rural Minnesota. By 1949, they had erected a spacious 7-stalled barn for their livestock and crop storage. With the agri-boom of the early 70s, the Flores family was riding high. In 1977, they welcomed Peter Frampton Flores to the fold, and he’s been working hard as a farmhand ever since. Ever since UNTIL NOW that is.

Pete’s Nacho Barn opens nightly at 5:00 p.m., and has a capacity of 80 guests. Taking advantage of the rustic “farm feel,” guests are treated to hay bale seats, horse cart tables, Mrs. Flores’ incessant yelling, and Papa Flores’ disappointed facial expression.

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Mustang Mary’s Mares and Mustangs

Is your life spinning helplessly out of control?

Sounds like you need A NEW PET!

Here at Mustang Mary’s Mares and Mustangs, we specialize in providing “Colt Companions” to individuals who suffer from anxiety, nervousness, or violent mood swings. Clinical trials have proven that pets have a calming effect on their caregivers, and our non-profit believes an ungelded and/or unbroken young male horse will be just the answer for someone who can’t afford the expensive upkeep of a kitten or bunny.

MUSTANG MARY CARES: MMMM Inc. is proud to be a sponsor of the Richard Keith’s Health and Wellness Rehabilitation Center, outside New Dessert, AZ. This popular hideaway has seen a sharp acceleration in patient rehabilitation since our involvement. One success story tells the tale of a young, wealthy Hollywood starlet who checked out one day after being assigned to one of our youthful steeds. Although she had 16 days of treatment left, she insisted that the animal played a large part in her decision to speed up her program.

THE FINE PRINT: MMMM Inc. is not responsible for broken or otherwise damaged personal property to the interior or exterior of your home. MMMM Inc. is also not liable for any bodily harm or physical injury that may be a result from interaction with untamed, unpredictable, downright crazy, and often violent animals. CALL TODAY.

The High-Five Retail Outlet

Can’t find a good high five anywhere?

Come on down to RICK’S HIGH FIVE EMPORIUM!

At Rick’s, you will always find the best, most solid high five for the lowest prices around! Whether you’re looking for a simple down-low or even a too slow, we’re your one-stop slap happy high-five shop!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: If you need something a little more theatrical, stop in for a free high-five consultation! Our experts will sit down and map out a custom high-five, tailored to your specific style of celebration. Using our patented “Digits-Up” software, we can design and predict thousands of high-five options including (but not limited to) the following elements: the behind-the-back, jump, scissor kick, summersault, and elbow or shoulder dislocation!

BIG SALE: If that all weren’t enough, come on down to Rick’s this Labor Day for our “Slappy and Sloppy Days” Tent Sale Weekend! There will be music, barbeque, and The Amazing Jeff, a semi-professional juggler and still-life fruit-on-a-table painter! Plus, that’s the day we’re selling our famous Sloppy Joe/High-Five Combos. All you can eat/slap for the low price of $99.99*!

*Combo price does not include $10 tent entry fee, any high-fives beyond the traditional down low/up high options, mandatory tips for The Amazing Jeff, or the $29.99 souvenir “I Got Slappy and Sloppy with Rick” T-shirt.

Lotion for sore, chapped, and slapped hands provided free of charge.

Rick’s High Five Emporium is located off I-69 in beautiful Fortville, Indiana! STOP IN TODAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!