Is your child no longer receptive to frequent timeouts? Is sending them to their room just not effective anymore?
YOU’RE TROUBLES ARE OVER. It’s the Virtual Reality Timeout Corner!
Why send your child to stare at a wall when you could banish them to a fiery hellscape, where they stand helplessly with serpents for arms and legs while lions who have knives for teeth gnash at their bellies?
“This method works,” says Meg Megaladon, estranged mother of two. “When I’m disciplining, I mean business. The message really hits home when my kid thinks he sees an army of lava-vomiting gargoyles attacking him with nail guns.”
“Since it’s virtual reality,” online medical consultant Dick Donks explains, “no physical harm comes to the child. That’s the glory of it. All the damage is only mental.”
Is your child being too loud in a restaurant? Not listening? Whining often? Consider one of the following appropriate VR punishments:
- Wading into the ocean at night
- Ghost attacks after bedtime
- Bathtub shark
- Intruder beating the family pet
- Living mannequins
Call now to order, and receive a second set of VR goggles for a second insolent child! Parenting just got easier.
THE FINE PRINT: Side effects can include temporary motion sickness, psychosis, depression, sweating, and resentment of parent. The VRTC is not responsible for costs incurred during child psychiatric care, counseling, or divorce proceedings. Terms and conditions apply. Offer void in Maine.