Does your team lack experience at competing in baseball’s world series? Have none of your players been alive to see their club compete at the highest level?

Sounds like you need the “How to Appear in a World Series” Handbook!

It’s your step-by-step guide to baseball’s biggest show! Teams that go into the World Series unprepared are statistically proven to lose, like, 42% of the time. With our no-fail handbook, you too can be an expert- even if you have no one on your team that the rest of the country would recognize as ‘good at baseball’! Our handbook will explain crucial details such as:

1. Try to win 4 games. That’s how many you need to get a trophy!

2. You will be on TV and your name will be in the paper. Relatives you never hear from may start calling.

3. A game losing error will live with you for the rest of your life.

4. Try not to place a wager on the outcome, take a steroid, use a corked bat, or text a hot reporter a picture of any part of your body.

Congratulations! You’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity, unless you go on to play for the Yankees or Cardinals.