Category Archives: Business

HOUSEFILLER! The Home-sharing App

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Don’t you hate it when you come home from vacation, and your stagnant and unexciting home is exactly the way you left it?!

Try HOUSEFILLER!, the home-sharing smartphone application!

Using the popular carpool sharing app model on your cellular device, HOUSEFILLER! automatically locates the closest homeless person to your location, pings them on their smartphone, and invites them to your home to occupy it while you are away. By sharing your house, you will benefit in the following ways:

1. Your plants will get watered.

2. Your pets will be fed.

3. Your food and drink will be consumed.

4. Your television will get watched, lowering the average cost per minute of your cable bill.

5. Your bed will be slept in.

6. Your living spaces will be available for social gatherings.

7. Your carpets will need to be cleaned upon your return.

8. Assistance from law enforcement might be necessary to remove all inhabitants.

9. Your home may suffer irreparable fire damage.

10. Some or all of your belongings may be missing.

This is just a partial list of all the benefits of subscribing to HOUSEFILLER! Happy customers include Jenny M., of Fortville, IN: “I used HOUSEFILLER while I went to Key West with my cousin.”

Thanks Jenny! Spread the good word!

Like we always say at HOUSEFILLER!, “An empty house is just lumber. NO ONE LIKES LUMBER!”

Pete’s Nacho Barn

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Eating Nachos? Good idea.
Hanging out in a barn? Good idea.
Eating Nachos and hanging out in a barn? GREAT IDEA

At least that’s Pete Flores’ philosophy! At Pete’s Nacho Barn, the genius is in the simplicity. You won’t have to worry about making a time consuming and sometimes emotionally complicated choice of nacho toppings in a traditional mexican food restaurant. Pete’s serves them up one way, and one way only: a synthetic blend of cheese substitutes that look like melted plastic poured over a grocery-grade bag of tortilla chips. In a barn.

SOME HISTORY: In 1937, the Flores family began farming in rural Minnesota. By 1949, they had erected a spacious 7-stalled barn for their livestock and crop storage. With the agri-boom of the early 70s, the Flores family was riding high. In 1977, they welcomed Peter Frampton Flores to the fold, and he’s been working hard as a farmhand ever since. Ever since UNTIL NOW that is.

Pete’s Nacho Barn opens nightly at 5:00 p.m., and has a capacity of 80 guests. Taking advantage of the rustic “farm feel,” guests are treated to hay bale seats, horse cart tables, Mrs. Flores’ incessant yelling, and Papa Flores’ disappointed facial expression.

Mustang Mary’s Mares and Mustangs

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Is your life spinning helplessly out of control?

Sounds like you need A NEW PET!

Here at Mustang Mary’s Mares and Mustangs, we specialize in providing “Colt Companions” to individuals who suffer from anxiety, nervousness, or violent mood swings. Clinical trials have proven that pets have a calming effect on their caregivers, and our non-profit believes an ungelded and/or unbroken young male horse will be just the answer for someone who can’t afford the expensive upkeep of a kitten or bunny.

MUSTANG MARY CARES: MMMM Inc. is proud to be a sponsor of the Richard Keith’s Health and Wellness Rehabilitation Center, outside New Dessert, AZ. This popular hideaway has seen a sharp acceleration in patient rehabilitation since our involvement. One success story tells the tale of a young, wealthy Hollywood starlet who checked out one day after being assigned to one of our youthful steeds. Although she had 16 days of treatment left, she insisted that the animal played a large part in her decision to speed up her program.

THE FINE PRINT: MMMM Inc. is not responsible for broken or otherwise damaged personal property to the interior or exterior of your home. MMMM Inc. is also not liable for any bodily harm or physical injury that may be a result from interaction with untamed, unpredictable, downright crazy, and often violent animals. CALL TODAY.