Having trouble finding a humane solution to your owl infestation?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED OWL-AWAY!

With this revolutionary new home protection system, you will no longer need to waste your shotgun ammunition creating owl carcasses. Based on a scientifically unproven theory, Owl-Away has shown impressive owl eradication results during trial runs at the corporate headquarter testing facility in Antarctica.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS: Owls are lured into a wooden box known to avian control professionals as a “birdhouse”. As bait, a deceased animal (minimum weight: 8lbs.) is placed inside the wooden box. Once closed, a series of images including rainbows, flowers, and sunsets are shown to the owl. After 8 months of exposure to these images, the newly domesticated and less murderously inclined owl will once again be set free into your yard.

Without its naturally violent tendencies, the owl will be more likely to succumb to relocation efforts.

THE FINE PRINT: Animal carcass not included. 30 day limited warranty. O-AHPS Inc. does not recommend approaching wild owls before or after domestication process. After Owl-Away, relocation or care for the owl is the responsibility of the customer.