Sick and tired of having ebola?!

Us too. Well, now there’s EBOLAWAY! It’s your all natural, gluten free solution to a potentially very serious ebola infection!

Developed in the labs at Northern Indianapolis College of Dramatic Arts and Dance, this remedy will not only save you millions in medical bills- IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE. Why look to modern medicine when everything you need is available at your local grocery store, pharmacy, and Buffalo Wild Wings? Let EBOLAWAY be your guide to total health, the natural way.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS: Once you’ve been diagnosed with ebola, simply assemble the following ingredients:

1. Oregano

2. Neosporin

3. Crisco

4. One ace bandage

5. Asian Zing* wing sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings

*DO NOT use teriyaki

For as little as $49.99 per week, you will receive our 11 page instruction booklet detailing the proper use and handling of these delicate and rare ingredients. The best part: you will probably never be contagious during our treatment, we think. When properly employed our ingredients will not only kill the ebola virus, but wind up murdering many other dangerous parts of your body. Don’t let ebola eat away at you. CALL NOW.

THE FINE PRINT: Successful test cases resulted from the aid of complete submission to modern medical practices regardless of EbolAway policies or directives.