The All Coffee Diet

Tired of fad diets that just don’t work?

TRY THE ALL COFFEE DIET!

The thing is, it’s NOT a fad. It’s the opposite. It’s what’s known to linguists as a daf, or the reverse of a fad. So a D-A-F, that’s a Diet Against Fatness. THIS CAN NOT FAIL WITH THAT KIND OF THINKING.

Forget the days of sweating on a treadmill and eating sensible meals. The All Coffee Diet is simple: when you feel your body telling you that it’s time for food, just drink a cup of coffee. It might seem unbelievable, but food service professionals claim there are the same amount of nutrients in six cups of coffee as there are in an entire thanksgiving dinner!

THE ROADMAP TO YOUR TARGET WEIGHT: Simply enjoy two cups of coffee for breakfast, one cup at 10:00 a.m., 4 cups at noon, 2 cups at 3:00 p.m., and 5 cups at 6:00 p.m., and 1 cup at 9:00 p.m. for best results. DO NOT drink cups larger than 22 fluid ounces.

THE FINE PRINT: The All Coffee Diet may/surely will cause loss of sleep, tremors, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, unsafe weight loss, hospitalization, and yellowing of the teeth. Do not operate motor vehicles, machinery, musical instruments, computers, or communication devices.

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