Do you love egg-based breakfast food?!

Then you’ll love the WHITES ONLY OMELETTE FESTIVAL!

A celebration of breakfast food for health-conscious foodies worldwide, the WOOF showcases many diverse recipes for egg-white only omelette creation. For three weeks in August, festival goers enjoy live music, tasting booths, contests, and more.

DISCLAIMER: Due to unfortunate events during previous years’ Whites Only Omelette Festival, the WOOF committee would like to issue the following statements:

1. The Whites Only Omelette Festival is open to all races.

2. The Whites Only Omelette Festival will not tolerate demonstrations celebrating white race supremacy.

3. The Whites Only Omelette Festival can not survive another year of violent protests.

4. The Whites Only Omelette Festival now prohibits the use or possession of any weapons outside the essential omelette making utensils. Non-violent utilization of the following will be allowed: knives, forks, spoons, sporks, spatulas, cap-guns, and slingshots (and any other tools necessary for gourmet omelette creation).

5. The Whites Only Omelette Festival will no longer award decorative brass knuckles or engraved baseball bats as eating contest prizes.

6. The Whites Only Omelette Festival will no longer host a drunk person boxing tournament.

7. The Whites Only Omelette Festival is seeking a non-racist, well-educated, and diverse group of volunteers and sponsors. APPLY NOW!