Write Your Own Novel Kit 5000

Do you have insights and social commentary to share, but no one ever asks your opinion?!

Well you’re in luck! Order the WRITE YOUR OWN NOVEL KIT 5000 today!

For a low payment of $89.99—weekly for next three years—you too could be a conduit for pop culture and the American subconscious. You’ll learn the writer’s process in 3 simple steps:


  • Start writing
  • Rewrite
  • Second guess your ability and let that doubt creep into all other aspects of your life, driving you into a deep over-analysis and worry about every choice you made


Get started getting stuck on one sentence for 35 minutes today! You’ll be drunk-writing 10 pages that will sound like nonsense when you’re sober in no time!

ORDER NOW to enjoy a life of solitude, only showering after accidentally smelling yourself when you reach for booze on the top of the refrigerator.


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