Have you had it with gripping action scenes, dashing heroes, and astounding special effects?

Maybe the modern day action movie isn’t for you. You need more. You need a new genre of film: THE SUPERHERO ACTION MOVIE/MUSICAL!

LET ME SET THE SCENE: Opening credits. Night. The roof of the Chrysler building is backlit dramatically by an enlarged moon, and the silhouette of our masked hero stands on a ledge overlooking the city. As the orchestra swells, he belts out the memorable first lines of the opening song “Different Life”, lamenting his personal solitude amid great popularity. Anonymity is a necessary curse. On the final sad and soaring note of the song, he slowly floats off the ledge and flies into the night, his cape rippling behind.

Scene two: a busy newsroom. Reporters bustle, and young photographers rush to get the best scoop. The opening lines of the energetic “Get the Story” begin as two members of the ensemble converse. “Gee, I hope the boss sends me out for a whale of a story today!” “Awwww Timmy, you’re day will come. I got nothing but truck fires for my first three months!”

The entire office erupts into an extremely well choreographed and exciting song highlighting the peaks and valleys of reporting the news, when a phone rings and someone interrupts the action: “HOOOOOOLD EVERYTHING! THERE’S A KID HANGING FROM THE HARBOR BRIDGE!” The room scatters as the orchestra rapidly replays the theme and our hero is seen flying by the windows.

And so on.

Early box office predictions suggest this new wave of cinema will irreparably change the movie going experience. Audiences will surely react to the mix of melodic artistry and choreographed film violence.

Hollywood has finally found a cure for the pesky live performances of Broadway and the lamentable lack of show tunes in action movies!