The Re-Resolutionator

Now that your New Year’s resolution has failed, want a do-over?

Sounds like you could use the RE-RESOLUTIONATOR!

Using a combination of handheld and cloud technology, the Re-Resolutionator is the device of the future. Simply input your weight, your career, your home address, your family member’s social security numbers, the number of steps you take in a day, your calorie intake, your yearly salary, your wardrobe preference, make and model of your car, and your payment information. Then, the Re-Resolutionator spits out your very own custom (and entirely achievable) NEW New Year’s resolution. It couldn’t be easier!


“I set a goal to run two miles every morning, but that was over by January 3rd. Thanks to the Re-Resolutionator, I have a new goal! It told me to use the word “Bathysphere” in a sentence every day. Now that I can do!” -Gerald K., Fortville, IN

“My new goal is to sell my old pair of rollerblades in a garage sale. Thanks Re-Resolutionator!” – Sarah G., Fargo, MN

“I was up for quitting smoking, but the Re-Resolutionator said I should get into watching soccer. Big win for me.” -Tim B., Saratoga, NY


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